Children aren’t Disciplined Any longer!
Growing up in the 80’s I came up on the tail end of corporal punishment. Principals usually the designated disciplinary source had the Authority to swat the students when they got out of line. That is how it was at the school I attended from Kindergarten until Third grade. If anyone of my classmates or myself talked back to any school officials, we got sent to the Principal’s office and received so many numbers of lashes on our behinds, depending on how many times we broke the rules. Then, when we got home, we received another butt whipping by our Parents.
Today the school system is operating differently and so is parenting. Of course, every Mother and Father does not believe in spanking his or her children at home; and think it is the worse disciplinary method to use. Beyond not spanking a child anymore, Parents and faculty leaders fail to implement correction. In fact, society frowns on authority leaders attempting to verbally correct a child at school. For example, telling a student “No” he or she cannot play at recess time when they were talking during class times is a big no no for the Teachers to implement. Many Principals jump down the Teacher’s throat for telling the child what he or she can or cannot do when the child is not behaving at school. Therefore, most Principals take a step back in his or her role in redirecting a student’s disruptive behavior in Class.
I will never forget, I was working with this child who swore at his Teachers because he had anger issues. I remember talking to his former Teacher, I will call him Johnny because I can’t display the actual child’s name for privacy reasons. Anyhow, this Teacher was giving me advice on how to deal with the child. She says, “Let him express himself. Onetime Johnny got angry and told me to Fuck myself and I told him Thank you for being open and honest with me. Hey, it beats writing out a referral to the Principal’s office, who gets on your case when the child is not performing.” I looked at this Teacher crazy. Of course, I didn’t tell her I thought she was out of her rabbit mind; but, I was like this kid will not tell me to go “Fuck myself.” I mean, it is time for the games to stop! I don’t care what the Principal have to say. I will respect the Principal’s Authority, but I am not going to let this kid think using bad language at adults is acceptable. However, I nodded my head and allowed this Teacher to give me her advice; yet, when the time came for me to work with Johnny 1:1, and he went through his anger episode, I politely told him, “That is not how you talk to an adult. You use respectful words when talking to me or we will not talk at all.” Guess what? Johnny did continue to have disruptive outbreaks and get angry yet he remembered what I told him, and he didn’t use bad language towards me ever.
My point in telling this story is that many parents, Teachers, even Principals feel children should be free to express themselves. While that is true to a certain extent, children should know that being respectful, and obedient is the best direction to go in life. If you teach a child to express himself any kind of way, when he is older and have to hold down a fulltime job, cussing out his boss will get him fired. Therefore, you are not helping the child but hurting him in the end.
Finally, Children should be told “NO” sometimes. Children who are exhibiting excellent behavior should be rewarded and those children who are showing disruptive behavior should have his or her privileges taken away. Corporal punishment maybe of the past; yet, teaching integrity and human decency is something that every Guardian should be held accountable to this day and age. That is the only way to make the home and educational system a refuge for Youth transitioning into the real world.
